Reading Material (Rhythm Heaven Fever)

Rhythm Heaven Fever, like Rhythm Heaven, has several written articles given for achieving perfects on Rhythm Games. However, unlike Rhythm Heaven, these articles differ significantly between Rhythm Heaven Fever and Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise.

The article 'Welcome!' is already available when the 'Read Something' area of the cafe is accessed for for the first time.

Welcome!

[US]

Thanks for buying Rhythm Heaven Fever! We've created a bunch of fun rhythm games for you. Everyone has rhythm-- even those who don't think they do! We hope you'll enjoy finding your own rhythm. So have fun and enjoy all the game has to offer.

[UK, Article is named 'Greetings']

Thank you for buying Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise! We created a range of fun rhythm games just for you! Everybody has a sense of rhythm, even if they are not aware of it. We hope you get to feel the joy of finding your rhythm through these games. So have fun and enjoy all the beat has to offer.

Golf Lessons

Obtained by getting a perfect in Hole in One.

[US]

I was practicing all the time, but my golf game just wasn't improving. A friend recommended that I see a golf coach he knew, and I figured it couldn't hurt. I went to our meeting place, expecting a middle-aged guy in ugly pants. That...wasn't what I got.

Monkey: "Hi, you can call me Monkey. I'm going to show you some tricks to improve your score."

Mandrill: "Hellooo! I'm a mandrill. I help Monkey out sometimes."

I thought about asking for their qualifications, but before I knew it, I was showing them my swing.

Monkey: "Great form! You just need to work on your timing."

Mandrill: "and REAL golfers can hit a ball no matter what. Even if it's moving. Fast."

Monkey: "See that whale that kinda looks like an island out there? When I give you the cue, swing toward that."

Mandrill: "And remember that it's not about power. Listen for Monkey's cue, and time your swing on that."

Monkey: "Oo kiiii. ♪"

Golf ball: *clunk*

Mandrill: "Not bad. But anyone can get one lucky shot. You're gonna have to practice, and practice hard!"

And that was the day my REAL golf education began...

[UK, Article is named 'How to Get a Hole in One']

No matter how much I practised, I struggled to improve my golf score and couldn't even dream of getting a hole in one. I heard about  a pair of professionals through a friend that could guarantee results fast. I went to the place I had arranged to meet my new caddies to find a curious duo.

"Ook! I'm Monkey and I'm here to teach you how to improve your score."

"And Mandrill show you how to get strong!"

It was unusual to say the least but I showed them a couple of my practice swings.

"Nice form! You just need to work on your timing," said the monkey.

"Golfer think only hitting stopped ball is good training?" asked the large mandrill, "Mandrill teach better technique!"

"Focus on that whale by the island over there," instructed the monkey, "follow my signal and concentrate on your timing."

"Power nothing without timing. Monkey say, golfer do!" the mandrill explained.

I tried to take note of their informative if unconventional golfing instruction.

"Ooky!" "Whoosh!" "Plop!"

"Mandrill think that was lucky hit. Lucky golfer can not do every time. Less luck, more practice!"

From that day, I got better and better at getting a hole in one.

Industrial Espionage

Obtained by getting a perfect in Screwbot Factory 2.

[US]

At a secret hideout in an undisclosed location under a heavy veil of mystery and darkness...

Leader: "All right, tell me what you've discovered in your surveillance."

Spy: "Of course. The factory has begun production on a top-secret, extremely advanced new design. I've confirmed at least two different models, the larger one approximately 200 feet tall and weighing about 60,000 tons. The final phase of assembly is when they screw the head to the body. This is tricky, and if it's done wrong, the robot has to be scrapped. The workers on that part of the line are pretty tense, obviously, so they've been playing some soothing music to help with the work. When each robot is completed, it says a code phrase and the heart symbol on its chest glows with appreciation."

Leader: "I see...so the music is how they've kept production so high. We'll need to stop that somehow if we're going to beat them. All right. Go continue your surveillance. Alert me to any changes."

Spy: "Understood. And if I'm discovered, you'll extract me from the enemy factory full of 200-foot robots right? ...Right?"

[UK, Article is named 'Screwbot Secrets']

Somewhere, at a secret hideout...

"Ok, minion! Tell me what your spying revealed."

"Yes, boss. The factory has a top secret robot development programme in operation. The design for two different robots are already being put into production. The robots are 40 metres tall and weigh approximately 30,000 tonnes. The production line terminates in a large arm which screws down the robots' heads fast and tight. This operation is extremely precise and the robots become inoperable if it is not completed correctly. The operators require nerves of steel in order to prevent a massive robot scrap pile. I noticed that the factory constantly plays the same Arabian-style music. Operating the machines in time to the music appears to make the job easier than it seems at first glance. Upon completion, the robots signal that they are operational using code words and a heart-shaped glow comes from their chests. The sight of the successfully completed robots seems to encourage the machine operators to maintain their work quality."

"I see...So, the key to their success is in the music. We must understand it if we are to have any chance of beating them. We must analyse the data further and develop a counter plan against that factory. You must go back to the factory and find out the secret to that rhythm."

"As you wish, boss."

Partners

Obtained by getting a perfect in See-Saw.

[US]

See: "Hey, Saw."

Saw: "What's up, See?"

See: "How many years have we been working together?"

Saw: "Let's see...It was two years before I got married, so that's...10 years."

See: "That long already! Time really does fly."

Saw: "Just think: 10 years of 'een-oon, ba-bom.'"

See: "Woooow...I'm amazed that I'm still not sick of it."

Saw: "Seems like I've been falling on my rump more and more lately...Sorry about that, See."

See: "Hey, I've been the one falling onto my head for those handstand jumps. I'm the one who should apologize, Saw."

Saw: "No, no. I fall on my bum WAY more. I'm sorry."

See: "But my head smashes are way creepy, so I'M sorry."

Saw: "So hey, how is your neck, anyway?"

See: "It's OK. How about you, Saw? Your bum's not sore or anything?"

Saw: "Nah. Thanks, though."

See: "Say, the kids'll be showing up to play at the park pretty soon."

Saw: "We better get to work, then, keeping them off this unsafe seesaw. Heh."

[UK, article is named 'See-Saw Inspectors']

"So, Mr Saw..."

"What's up, Mr See?"

"How long have we been partners?"

"Well, let's see... We met two years before you got married, so it must be 10 years."

"Can it really be that long?! Time flies when you're having fun."

"Yeah, and to think we've been saying the same things every day for 10 years..."

"Every day for 10 years...Will we ever get bored?"

"Dunno. I'm sorry for all the times you ended up on your behind."

"And I'm sorry for all the times you landed on your face!"

"I think I caused you more falls than you caused me."

"It's no problem, my head is less delicate that your behind."

"Really? Are you sure you didn't get whiplash?"

"I'm fine. Are you sure it doesn't hurt when you sit down?"

"There hasn't been a see-saw that has beaten my bottom yet"

"I'm glad I found a see-saw inspector as good as you."

"Before we have an awkward silence, we've got to finish testing these see-saws before all the kids show up!"

"Now you're talking! I'll never get tired of this job!"

My Feelings

Obtained by getting a perfect in Double Date.

[US]

I've always wanted to learn the guitar but never had the nerve to try. When I finally did get up the courage, I found that SHE worked at the local music shop. She told me I had nothing to be afraid of, that playing guitar was simple. Easy for her to say-- everyone knows her band is big in Japan. I didn't have enough money to buy one that day, but she let me try out a guitar and showed me some chords. I came back a lot over the next six months while I saved up my allowance. Now I've bought my guitar, I've started a band, and I'm practicing a lot. I even wrote a song for her. Only problem is I can't bring myself to play it for her. So instead, I'll invite her to our first live show. After school, we sat on a bench together while I tried to work up the courage to give her the ticket I got her. My throat was parched, and my mind was racing. For some reason, some weasels were looking at us... And then a strange thing happened. A soccer ball came at us, and I reflexively gave it a good kick. It felt great! It calmed me down too. Even the weasels seemed happy. So I started kicking away my feelings...

[UK]

I decided to take up the guitar and headed to the local music shop. That was when I first saw her. She was in the year above mine and already had a band which had won several competitions. I heard she'd even been approached by a famous music producer. I hadn't saved enough pocket money to buy a guitar but  I headed to the shop and she let me try one out. I went to the shop a lot after that. She was so helpful and her knowledge about guitars blew me away. Six months later I had bought that guitar, practised every day and even formed my own band. I just had to let her know my feelings for her with one of my own songs. But there was no way I could sing to her until I had learned to play better. And then it all seemed to fall into place. My band got its first gig and I hoped that she would come to watch us. I went to tell her after school and took her a ticket in my trembling hands. We sat down outside and chatted about school but I had trouble telling her about my gig. Each time I tried to pluck up the courage to ask her to come a ball would fly out of nowhere and ruin the moment. If that wasn't enough, I had a pair of ferrets making a racket in front of me too! Strangely, the more balls I kicked away, the more confident I got. Maybe it was something about my kicking to the rhythm but the ferrets seemed to calm down too. I was sure this was the perfect moment to tell her how I feel...

First-Day Orientation

Obtained by getting a perfect in Board Meeting.

[US]

*cough* (Excuse me.) First of all, let me welcome and congratulate all of our... *ah-CHOO* new employees. Next, I need to tell you the most important thing you can know about working at our company: Wherever you are, whatever you do here, from the assembly line to Accounts Payable, remember to mind the flow. For proof, consider our executives seated there. They all came from humble origins but rose to the top because they embrace flow. If you want to climb the ladder here, you've gotta develop your flow! All right, everyone. Stand up and repeat after me: One! Start the spin smoothly and flow to a halt. Two! At lunchtime, season freely with flowing pepper and salt. *Ahhh-CHOOOOO!* (Excuse me.)

[UK, article is named 'An Upbeat Business Strategy']

Achoo! Ahem... Good morning ladies and gentlepigs. Congratulations on becoming the newest members of our organisation! Before you start working in this prestigious company, I would like to give you some important advice. No matter what we do, in this company, we are always upbeat! This is at the forefront of our business strategy. Even when times are tough, we believe success can always be achieved by keeping upbeat. The board came to realise its importance through a lot of hard work and spinning themselves. If you want to make it far in this company, you should make being upbeat your priority too! So, everybody stand up and join me in squealing. "All together now! Be upbeat! Turning ourselves around helps us turn profits round!" A...aaaah...chooooooooo!

Ad Copy

Obtained by getting a perfect in Monkey Watch.

[US]

Do you hate looking at your watch, afraid of how late you are to your meeting, date, or appointment? Is the mere act of checking the time a source of stress and unhappiness in your life? If so, you need a Monkey Watch! It won't make you any less late for things, but there's no way to frown after looking at it! Seriously! It's medically impossible! We asked some science guys about it! So buy your Monkey Watch today and smile the rest of your life! WARNING: Using Monkey Watch continuously may make the monkeys tired. Let them rest occasionally for more accurate timekeeping.

[UK, article is named 'Current Trends']

Are you always late? Do you struggle to know what time it is? Are your wrists drab and boring?

Then you need a:

MONKEY WATCH

Have you been late for a date to find that the girl wouldn't wait for you to show up?

Then you need a:

MONKEY WATCH

Monkey Watch Disclaimer

Looking at your new monkey watch for long periods of time can wear the monkeys out and may cause the watch to lose time. Be sure to give them plenty of rest and the occasional banana and your monkey watch will give you years of reliable service.

Probably...

After Work

Obtained by getting a perfect in Working Dough.

[US]

On the work floor...

Veteran: "I wonder if the ship made it back home to Planet Dough yet..."

Rookie: "Let's hope so. We spent so long transporting fuel orbs for it, I was just glad to see it take off."

Veteran: "I gotta tell you, my heart skipped a few when you missed the fuel orb that Mr. Game & Watch was riding."

Rookie: "I'm really sorry about that. It makes me all emotional just thinking about it."

Veteran: "None of that. Crying will just make you all gooey. Try to stay dry until you get home from work."

Rookie: "It's a good thing See and Saw were waiting below and ready to fling Mr. Game & Watch onto the ship!"

Veteran: "Yeah, I keep them ready in case emergencies like that come up."

Rookie: "That was you? Wow, you are so on top of things! I hope to be half as good as you someday."

Veteran: "Just take it one day at a time, kid. Now turn off the lights. It's time to go home."

Rookie: "Ugh. I worked so hard today. I won't be able to rise in the morning..."

[UK]

On the work floor...

"I wonder if the ship made it back home to Planet Dough already..."

"Let's hope so. We spent so long refuelling it, I was just glad to see it take off."

"But I thought we'd be in big trouble when Mr. Game & Watch got caught in that fuel orb!"

"I should have noticed. I get all emotional just thinking about it."

"You know crying will make you all gooey. You should stay dry until after you finish work."

"I wouldn't have thought to ask Mr See and Mr Saw to spring to his rescue. If you hadn't, who knows what could have happened."

"Those guys are a regular pair of heroes."

"I hope I grow up to be smart like you one day."

"Your day will come, but first turn off the lights, it's time to go home."

"I worked so hard today, I won't be able to rise in the morning."

Assembly-Line Slogans

Obtained by getting a perfect in Built to Scale 2.

[US]

Slogan for April

Production line, keep in time: Get into your work!

Slogan for May
Production line, keep in time: Watch your timing!

Slogan for June
Production line, keep in time: remember your due dates!

Slogan for July
Production line, keep in time: Put a spike in efficiency!

Slogan for August
Production line, keep in time: Keep at it like clockwork!

Slogan for September
Production line, keep in time: Maintain a positive attitude!

Slogan for October
Production line, keep in time: Keep the company afloat!

Slogan for November
Production line, keep in time: Feed your efficiency!

Slogan for December
Production line, keep in time: Kick your bad habits!

Slogan for January
Production line, keep in time: No breaks.

Slogan for February
Production line, keep in time: Work faster!

Slogan for March

Production line, keep in time: Remember to take it easy.

[UK, article is named 'Quality Construction Catchwords']

April's Motto

Being in time on the production line will make you feel real fine!

May's Motto
If the production line is running fine, you won't have to do overtime!

June's Motto
Our production line's made piece by piece so our profits will increase!

July's Motto
Understand the rhythm and you will see it put a spike in our efficiency!

August's Motto
Our rhythm masters have some quirks but keep it running like clockwork!

September's Motto
Out widgets might not be much to note but they keep our company afloat!

October's Motto
This production line's all we need except for our daily drink and feed!

November's Motto
We always work with a positive attitude to gain our customer's gratitude!

December's Motto
Do your best and you will find you'll have fun on this production line!

January's Motto
The production line's in high demand, when will my work ever end?

February's Motto
Just when you're starting to give up, the production line just speeds up!

March's Motto

The production line has a clear rhythm, just do your best and don't give in!

Baxter & Forthington

Obtained by getting a perfect in Air Rally.

[US]

High above the Rhythm Islands...

Forthington: "Hey, Baxter, you hear about the new doughnut shop? You can get a doughnut covered in marshmallows, candy, and tiny little doughnuts!"

Baxter: "Ugh. I'll pass. There's such a thing a restraint, you know."

Forthington: "Come on, let's just check it out. Live a little!"

Baxter: "Forthington, I'm not going to repeat myself. If you want to go wallow in lard, you can go by yourself, glutton."

Forthington: "What did you call me?! Oh, that's it, Mr. Leafy Greens! Eat THIS!"

With a mighty THWACK, Forthington launches the birdie at Baxter's face.

Baxter: "Hrmph. Gotta do better than that, glaze breath." Baxter smacks the birdie right back a Forthington.

Forthington: "It looks like this old dog knows some tricks, but how will you cope if I change up the distance?"

Forthington accelerates toward the horizon and then belts the Birdie at Baxter. *THWACK!*

Baxter: "So soft and sweet. Just like those doughnuts you like!" *THWACK!*

The rally continues for over twenty minutes.

Forthington: "OK, for an old dog with no taste, you're actually pretty good at air badminton!"

Baxter: "You're not so bad for a sour puss either. Whew! That was a workout! I could eat a salad bar!"

Forthington: "Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we go to the doughnut shop?"

Baxter: "..."

Forthington: "Come on, Baxter. Doughnuts covered in tiny doughnuts. You know you want one."

Baxter: "All right..."

The two planes bank across each other's paths, making surprisingly doughnut-shaped vapor trails as they fly off for a well-deserved snack.

[UK, article is named 'Quick and Slow']

High above the Rhythm Islands, a blue and red plane could be seen flying in tight formation.

"Hey, Quick! I heard a new doughnut shop opened up recently. It's supposed to be the cat's whiskers!"

"Huff! I doubt that."

"You can't say that until you try it at least once for yourself. You might regret it!"

"Slow! How many times? You're barking up the wrong tree! If you like it so much, just go by yourself, you fat greedy puss!"

"How dare you! See how you like eating this!"

Slow launched the shuttlecock at Quick's face with a 'whoosh'!

"Pah!"

Quick hit it back in a flash.

"It looks like the old dog know some tricks, but how will you cope at a distance?"

Slow accelerated towards the horizon and then belted the shuttlecock at Quick.

"Your racket paw is as weak as your willpower when it comes to doughnuts," Quick taunted as he hit the projectile back.

Twenty minutes later the rally was still going on...

"Meahaha! For an old dog with no taste, you are still a connoisseur when it comes to badminton shots!"

"You're not so bad for a sour puss either!"

Another twenty minutes later...

"I exercised so much I could eat a horse!"

"I've got an idea, why don't we head on over to that doughnut shop?"

"..."

"Come on, Quick! You'll love it!"

"Well, alright then."

The two planes banked across each other's paths forming a perfect doughnut-shaped vapour trail in the sky as they headed off for a well-deserved snack.

Parental Controls

Obtained by getting a perfect in Figure Fighter 2.

[US]

Son: "Mom! Buy this new Figure Fighter muscle doll for me! Pleeeease?!"

Mother: "I'm not buying that for you! It's all cheap, and it'll be broken before you know it!"

Son: "OK...How about this Figure Fighter 2 muscle doll?"

Mother: "I'm not buying that for you! You'll just end up breaking something that expensive!"

Son: "*sigh*"

[UK, article is named 'Family Conversation']

"Mum! Buy this Figure Fighter for me! Pleeeease!"

"I'm not buying that for you! Something that cheap will easily get broken!"

"OK, mum...How about this Figure Fighter 2 figure?"

"I'm not buying that for you! You will only end up breaking something that expensive!"

"Sigh..."

Wrestler's Weekly

Obtained by getting a perfect in Ringside.

[US]

Wrestling 20XX "Nobody beats the champ!"

Location: Rhythm Arena

Reporter: "Thanks for talking with us today, champ! How does it feel to defend your title?"

Wrestler X: "Eh."

Reporter: "What was the turning point in the match, do you think?"

Wrestler X: "Eh."

Reporter: "Um...I'm sure your next challenger will be a formidable opponent. What strategy will you use?"

Wrestler X: "Eh."

Reporter: "Ahem...Let's try a question from one of your fans. What's your sign?"

Wrestler X: "Eh."

Reporter: "Whoa, you go, big guy!"

Wrestler X: *strikes a pose*

Reporter: Aaaaand that's all from us! Be sure to join us ringside for another exclusive interview!

[UK]

"Nobody beats the champ!"

Location: Rhythm Arena

No Holds Barred Challenge Match Victory

The Wrestler defended his championship title in 15 minutes with his Z-Suplex special move.

"Thank you for agreeing to an interview with us today and congratulations on making the first defence of your title!"

"Eh..."

"In your own words, how did you manage to retain your belt?"

"Eh..."

"Erm...I'm sure your next challenger will be a formidable opponent. How do you feel about facing him?"

"Eh..."

"Ahem...Let's try a question from one of your fans. What is your favourite letter?"

"Eh..."

"That's amazing!"

"Uh huh!"

"That's an amazing pose!"

"That's all from us. Be sure to join us ringside for another world exclusive interview!"

Journal of Tiny Science

Obtained by getting a perfect in Micro-Row 2.

[US]

Day 1:

It's been five years since I announced my new method for bacterial research in "Microbe Today." My students and I have been working day and night to catalog our newest data. Then today I received a vial from the mysterious Rhythm League, and its contents astounded me! The microbes in the vial moved in sync with each other. And not just one or two, but countless microbes all moving in time! I am sure they represent an important discovery. We must keep studying them.

Day X:

The microbes appear to have lost their initial vigor. They move sluggishly, unhappily bumping into each other. If they continue like this, I will have to abandon my research. What could be wrong with them?

Day Y:

The microbes still seems sad and listless. The team and I are exhausted, and nothing we have tried has improved their condition. We must do something-- if not for them, then for our own morale. Some music might lift our spirits...

Day Z:

Astonishing! As soon as I put the music on, the microbes brightened, moving in time and colorful again! I'm not sure how, but the microbes feed on the music in a process I shall call "rhythmesis". The music's effect is undeniable. The microbes have resumed their tiny, dancing march. Where could they be headed? We still have so much to learn about them... We have already gained from our research though. I find myself walking with a spring in my step now!

[UK, article is named 'Diary of Micro-Discoveries']

Entry 1:

It has been five years since I first announced my new method for bacterial research. The students and I have worked tirelessly day and night to find new bacteria. Today, I discovered a group of bacteria with a puzzling organised movement. They swam right past my microscope's field of view and I knew instantly that I had found something completely new. The bacteria moved with great coordination. There were not just one or two, but countless bacteria all moving in time. I am sure they represent an important discovery so we must study them further.

Entry 2:

The bacteria appear to have lost their initial vigour. They are moving sluggishly and bumping into each other which appears to make them unhappy. If they continue like this, I will have to abandon my research. What on earth could be wrong with them?

Entry 3:

The bacteria still appear to lack their initial vitality. The team and I are exhausted from failing to improve their condition. We must do something! Perhaps some music would help liven our mood. I'm sure one of the students left a CD somewhere... As soon as I put the CD on, the bacteria lost their drab appearance. They began to move in time and glowed colourfully again! I'm not sure how, but they feed on the music (I may call the process "Rhythmesis"). However, the music's effect is undeniable. They bacteria have begun moving in a nimble jerking motion. I wonder where they could be headed? I must study them further to understand more about this truly mysterious organism. We still have a lot of learn from them. We should all learn to live with a spring in our step too!

Picky Eaters' Song

Obtained by getting a perfect in Samurai Slice 2.

[US]

I am called the Wandering Samurai, due to my devotion to the samurai code of Bushido and my generally poor sense of direction.

~As the sun dips below the horizon, the Wandering Samurai rests his weary body on the grounds of an old temple.~

"I'm so very tired from all the wandering I did today..." ~Before he is even aware of it, the samurai is asleep and dreaming...~

♪ One onion. Can't eat it! Two tubers. Mmm! Love it ! Three three-bean salads. Can't eat it!♪

♪Four fortune cookies. Mmm! Love it! Five flying fish. People eat those? ♪

♪Six sticks of butter. Mmm! Love it! Seven celery sticks. Can't eat it! ♪

♪Eight egg rolls. Mmm! Love it! Nine nice noodle dishes. Can't eat it! ♪

♪And ten tennis balls. Not food. ♪

"Son, if you are so picky about food, you'll never grow up to be a proper samurai!"

"Yes, Mother!"

When I wake, the sun is high in the sky. Standing nearby are two children. The boy holds a pinwheel, the girl a rice ball.

"Mama said this was for you."

My stomach growls as my eye meets the rice ball.

"I am indebted to you." I gratefully accept the rice ball.

It is delicious. Just like Mother used to make.

[UK, article is named 'The Picky Eaters Song']

The lone samurai continues his endless journey onwards.

Eventually the samurai came across a temple and decided to take shelter from the heat of the morning sun.

His eyelids began to feel heavy and it did not take long before he fell fast asleep under a large tree. As he lay snoring in the shade, a counting song from his childhood came back to him...

One - I like buns

Two - I don't like stew

Three - I like peas

Four - I don't like rice balls

Five - I live chives

Six - I don't like figs

Seven - I like cinnamon

Eight - I don't like skate

Nine - I like brine

Ten - I don't like ramen...

"An honourable samurai never lets food go to waste," his mother scolded.

"Yes, mother," the young samurai dutifully replied...

The lone samurai awoke from his dream to find the sun had risen high in the sky. He soon noticed two young kids approaching with a toy windmill and a rice ball.

"Our mummy told us to give you this."

The samurai's stomach let out a loud growl at the sight of the expertly-made rice ball.

"Thank you," the samurai said as he took the rice ball.

He bit into it and was filled with more memories of his mother's cooking. He wondered how he would be able to repay their kindness to him.

To be continued...

Angling Profiles

Obtained by getting a perfect in Catch of the Day.

[US]

Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr presents: Fishing Tips with Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr

Ann Glerr here with some fishing tips! Let's start with the small fry: The Quicknibble is an adorable little orange fish with no sense of self-preservation whatsoever. It'll usually taste your bait twice then just bite onto it, at which point you can simply yank it out of the water.

The Pausegill, on the other hand, is a cautious fish. It generally invests in mutual funds and treasury bills. Also, it waits a beat after tasting the bait before biting. I don't know why it bothers-- it's not like it ever checks the bait and goes "Nah."

Finally, there's the creepy Threefish. This intimidating guy likes to check the bait thoroughly with his tongue. After the check, he likes to give the worm a count of three to let the fear set in... then he strikes!

I hope these tips will help you land a big one next time you're out! Ann Glerr signing off!

[UK, article is named 'Fishing Monthly']

Expert's Corner

This month's Expert's Corner features tips from Ann Glerr.

Hi everyone! I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce three fish species to you today.

First, let's start with the cute Gulper. You have to watch out for this small orange fish because they don't wait around after nibbling your bait.

The Little Waiter may have a vacant stare but don't let that fool you. The key to hooking one is waiting briefly for it to bite.

Finally, the king of fish is the Big Teaser. They use their long tongues to tease their prey. When you see the float move, try counting to three before striking. However, if they get away you'll find their deep laugh sounds quite suave and sophisticated!

One final tip, fishing is all about rhythm. So try to stick to the beat whenever you see a fish bite!

Good luck fishing, everybody!

Ann Glerr

Expedition Journal

Obtained by getting a perfect in Flipper Flop.

[US]

April 16

Today, our expedition team is set to arrive at our destination. It's strange, though... No matter how many steps forward we take, we seem to be right back where we started. Am I just imagining things?

April 20

We ran into a major storm that made it difficult to move and impossible to see. I thought our one-flipper-roll strategy probably wasn't going to cut it, so I went to the captain, hoping he'd reconsider our tactics. He just said, "Good joooob!" After a moment, he added, "Nice!" ...I guess I just have to trust the captain...

April 21

The one-flipper-roll strategy was a failure. I thought it was time to deploy our ultimate weapon. I went to the captain and said, "It's time to try the ten-flipper-roll strategy!"

In a strong, yet reassuring voice, he told me "Well done!"

I believe in our captain.

April 22

Then ten-flipper-roll strategy left the entire expedition team dizzy and disoriented.

"Captain, what should we do?!" My voice echoed across the frigid tundra. And then I heard his strong, reassuring voice:

"That's it!"

Ca-Captain...really?

I...I believe in our captain.

[UK]

16th April

The expedition team should make it to our goal today... However, no matter how much progress we make, it feels as if we are going round in circles.

We are already behind schedule by several hours. If we fall even further behind, we might not even make it at all...

The Captain is as icy-faced as ever. If he's worried, he's not showing it in the slightest.

20th April

The team has been hampered by a violent snowstorm that could freeze an exposed snout in seconds. We had difficulty practising our single flipper rolls, so I asked the Captain if we could change our training strategy. The Captain just replied in his usual loud voice, "Mmm! Aah!" so I hope we can trust him.

21st April

Our flipper rolls were a complete failure. We didn't make any headway at all. We are starting to lose our strength and motivation. Even so, we finally managed to do ten flipper rolls together!

The Captain gave us his strongest "Yes! Good job!"

I'm sure he won't let us down.

22nd April

Today it was so bright, it felt like as if even the sun was mocking our flipper progress. We practised so many ten flipper rolls that I couldn't even see straight any more.

Captain! How much more of this training do we have to suffer?

...do we have to suffer?

...do we have to suffer?

Perhaps I shouldn't have shouted so loud as the echoes rang out over the polar waste.

But then the Captain said, "Well done!"

I hope he means it this time...

Birds of the Universe

Obtained by getting a perfect in Flock Step.

[US]

Did everyone have a refreshing break? Wonderful! Let's continue our tour of the planet of the Huebirds...

Ah, here we see a typical morning commute for these colorful creatures. Note that, even in a dense crowd, they move in perfect harmony.

Er...mostly. Excuse me! Please don't push! Someone could get hurt! Excuse me!

"Tweet, twe-twe-tweet, squawk!"

What was that? Does anyone in the group by any chance speak Huebird?

Now, please! Please, let's try to keep things orderly!

"Tweet, twe-twe-tweet, tweet, squawk!"

I don't understand! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!

Ahem. let's continue our tour, shall we? As I was saying, the Huebirds are lovely creatures with their own ideas about order.

Next, we'll be examining an altogether different species, the Eloquent Tapir, who I'm sure you all will enjoy conversing with.

[UK]

Welcome to another edition of Birds of the Universe. Today, we've got quite a selection to show you.

The prettiest of all space birds has to be the Huebird. Let's see how they start their day. Rush hour starts early on their colourful planet. But even in large groups, they move in harmony...most of the time.

"It's looking pretty crowded already. Hey, everybody! Stop pushing, it's dangerous!"

"Tweet! Tweet! Squawk!"

It doesn't seem as if they are paying any attention.

"Don't you birds have any manners? Stop pushing!"

"Tweet! Tweet! Squawk!"

Can anybody speak Huebirdish?

"Hey! Someone could get hurt! Please line up patiently!"

"Tweet! Tweet! Squawk!"

I'm sure they're not paying attention on purpose now.

"Hey, you! The pretty bird, yes...you, line up properly!"

"Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Squawk!"

That's more like it. These birds have behaved the same way for generations. They are sometimes a little selfish but they all walk to the same beat.

Next time we will look at Blue Birds.

Enjoy your bird watching!

Rhythm Rockets

Obtained by getting a perfect in Launch Party.

[US]

Hello, and thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! These are sure to make your next outer-space voyage fun and memorable! We have four models this year, and I'll be happy to explain the differences.

Family Model

This cheery red-and-white rocket is well balanced and suited to all sorts of uses.

Party Cracker Model

This one starts the party with a fun sound. Plus, there's no confetti to clean up!

Bell Model

This lovely rocket launches with a clear chime. Ideal for weddings and other celebrations!

Bowling Model

For the frustrated bowler in all of us, this exuberant rocket delivers a satisfying sound of a perfect strike!

Whichever Rhythm Rocket you choose, you're certain to have an exciting and fun outer-space expedition!

[UK, article is named 'Mini Rocket Development']

Hello! Thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! We currently have four rocket models in production. Let me explain to you the differences between them.

The basic red and white "Trusty" model was developed to be easy to launch and is the most reliable of our designs.

The "Cracker" model makes quite a bang at launch and is made to impress. If you ever make your own home launch party, this is the one for you. It has real oomph and is good for the environment too.

The "Belle" model goes off with a crystal clear chime that is exceptionally moving. This one is popular at weddings and it's bound to bring smiles to all who hear it blast off!

Our "Striker" model has a striking sound and is a real knockout! If you've never played a perfect game of bowling, launch one of these and you'll know how it feels!

I think you'll find we have a mini-rocket for every occasion and one that can compliment your lives. So, please order one now before they sell out!

Concert Listings

Obtained by getting a perfect in Love Rap 2.

[US]

Promoting their eagerly anticipated new single "Love Rap,"[sic] the Love Posse (featuring MC Adore) is coming to a town near you!

Opening for the Posse will be those twin quasars of hip-hop, the RAPMEN.

Check online for dates and venues. Advance tickets are $60, and each comes with an MC Adore sticker.

Tickets at the door are also $60 but do NOT come with a sticker. Plan ahead! Don't miss it!

[UK, article is named 'Hip Hop Press']

In anticipation of The Love Posse feat. MC Adore's new single "Love Rap", the band will be performing an exclusive live set for a limited number of fans.

Of course, you can expect everyone's favourite rapping duo "The Love Posse" to be providing the backing too!

Date: To be confirmed

Location: A venue near you

Tickets are on sale now so don't miss out!

At the Auditions

Obtained by getting a perfect in Tap Troupe.

[US]

"I want to be a star!" That was what I thought every minute of every day after I moved to this town.

Then I saw the most important flyer on the most important café bulletin board of my life. The flyer read, "Tap star wanted!"

I knew this was my big chance. On the day of the audition, there were three other young guys waiting with me in the studio.

There were four gray boxes lined up neatly in a row on a desk in front of us. We had no idea what they were for.

A bearded man wearing a yellow box on his head burst into the room with a hearty "Welcome! Welcome!"

"You guys look great! Long legs-- symmetrical heads-- you have all the right stuff to become tap stars!"

"OK, now. Would you all please put these boxes on your heads?"

I had a decision to make. Would I put this box on my head and risk looking silly for a chance at stardom?

Of course I would. "YES. Bravo. BRAVO! You made it. You all made the cut!"

And that's how I began my climb to tap stardom...

[UK]

I had always wanted to become famous and came to this town to try and achieve my dreams! When I saw an audition poster in a cafe, I knew the chance had finally arrived. The poster said "Tap Star auditions!"

I thought I would have to be the luckiest boy in the world to win the audition and become world famous so easily, but I knew I had to try. I sat waiting nervously with three other young lads waiting for their chance to shine.

I noticed a great box placed on a desk in front of me and wondered what it was for.

A man carrying a yellow box entered the room and began speaking enthusiastically.

"Welcome! Welcome! Hey, you lads look great! You've got the right look and legs long enough to be the next tap stars!"

"Let's get started! Would you mind putting the boxes on? This box might look plain but it will make you a star!"

I felt a bit uncertain but put the box over my head.

"Hey! That's it! You all look great! Right, you all passed the audition!"

From that moment, my career as a tap star really began and I have never looked back.

Pep-Squad Rules

Obtained by getting a perfect in Cheer Readers 2.

[US]

*Energy is key!

• Everybody pitches in to clean the practice room.
• Practice your finger work! Don't get the wrong page.
• When everyone's pages are synchronized, we all win. When it happens, give a cheer for your squadmates.
• To prevent your books getting mixed up, write your name on the back cover.
• If you will miss practice for any reason, clear it with the captain at least a day in advance.
• If you read a good book, post it on the team's blog and share it with everyone!
• The "BOOM" part of "Rah-rah sis boom ba-BOOM" is key. Say it with pep, and let 'em know you mean it!

[UK, article is named 'Club Rules']

Rule 1: Always remember your manners!

Rule 2: Keep the room tidy.

Rule 3: Practice turning pages over carefully so you don't make any mistakes.

Rule 4: Perform in a loud voice so that the whole team keeps their page turning in time.

Rule 5: Don't take anybody else's book! Write your name on the back cover.

Rule 6: Always report to the leader if you think you cannot make practice the following day.

Rule 7: Please report on any good books on the club blog.

Rule 8: Always repeat cheers with lots and lots of energy!

A Musical Term

Obtained by getting a perfect in Karate Man 2.

[US]

"I dunno. It's like everyone just decides what it means and passes their judgment and expects me to behave in a certain way.

I mean, first of all, it's my name, like my actual, this-is-what-my-birth-certificate-says NAME. It doesn't reflect me as a person.

And hey, words can mean more than one thing, you know? Just because the first thing YOU think of is some happy-go-lucky sap doesn't mean...

Ugh. I know, I come in here every week and the spend whole session griping about this. You're probably tired of hearing about it by now.

Do you ever have problems like this? Do people just look at you and assume that you're into, I dunno, copying what people do?"

"Oookii oook-ook!"

"Right, right. My therapy is about me and my problems, not you. Anyway, thanks for listening. I'll see you next Tuesday for another session of 'Mr. Upbeat's complaints.'"

[UK] The UK version is exactly the same, apart from the Monkey's speech being "Oooky oook-ook!" instead, and the British English spelling of 'Mr Upbeat'.

Investigation Notes

Obtained by getting a perfect in Remix 2.

[US]

xx/xx/20xx

"It's July through November" was the tip from the mystery man working at the Built to Scale factory.

The "Assembly-Line Slogans" document he wrote looks suspicious. We'll definitely want to investigate that.

[UK, article is named 'Police Memo']

Police Report:

We received a tip off from an unidentified man who is apparently working at the widget factory. It said "from July to November".

There's definitely something suspicious about those "Quality Construction Catchwords". We should investigate further.

Final Words

Obtained by getting a perfect in Remix 10.

[US]

Hey, you there! Yes, you! In front of the TV! Congratulations on getting a Perfect on Remix 10! Nicely done!

Oh, and thanks so much for just playing this far into the game! It’s always gratifying when someone goes to the trouble, you know?

We’ve been watching you doing your best, playing real hard. It’s inspiring.

Did you have fun? Was it hard to get here? Maybe you have friends who say it was easy.

Hmph. Whatever.

But let’s talk about you some more! You probably found your sense of rhythm improving, huh? …Right?

If you haven’t already done so, you should totally have your friends try out this game. You know there’s a two-player mode, right?

All right, let’s say it was your destiny to battle an evil wrestler army, and only you could do it.

You might be sad that you had such a rough destiny ahead of you.

But what if, by battling the evil wrestler army, you could make a lot of people smile? Then you might think, “That’s a pretty good destiny.” 

That’s all we wanted to say. Hopefully we’ll see you out there again sometime. Enjoy your evening.

-- This message brought to you by the mysterious Rhythm League.

[UK]

Congratulations!

You got a Perfect on Remix 10! Well done! Thank you for playing! We hoped you would make it this far.

How was it for you? Did you find it difficult?

You probably know somebody who found it really easy, don't you? But don't worry! No matter how you found it, your sense of rhythm has probably improved no end. Did you notice a difference?

Now that you are a rhythm master, you should show your friends how much fun rhythm is too. You know there's a Dual Play mode, don't you?

Every good wrestler has to step up to his destiny of fighting an army of wrestling villains to prevent the global domination of evil. It's up to you to fulfil your destiny too! Well, your destiny might not be as important as an amazing wrestler's, but just imagine the joy of having a destiny that involves putting smiles on your friends' faces!

I hope we will meet in the Ring some day.

Signed,

The Wrestler's Rhythm League Fan Club Rep.