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<blockquote>I was practicing all the time, but my golf game just wasn't improving. A friend recommended that I see a golf coach he knew, and I figured it couldn't hurt. I went to our meeting place, expecting a middle-aged guy in ugly pants. That...wasn't what I got. | <blockquote>I was practicing all the time, but my golf game just wasn't improving. A friend recommended that I see a golf coach he knew, and I figured it couldn't hurt. I went to our meeting place, expecting a middle-aged guy in ugly pants. That...wasn't what I got. | ||
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And that was the day my REAL golf education began... | And that was the day my REAL golf education began... | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote>No matter how much I practised, I struggled to improve my golf score and couldn't even dream of getting a hole in one. I heard about a pair of professionals through a friend that could guarantee results fast. I went to the place I had arranged to meet my new caddies to find a curious duo. | <blockquote>No matter how much I practised, I struggled to improve my golf score and couldn't even dream of getting a hole in one. I heard about a pair of professionals through a friend that could guarantee results fast. I went to the place I had arranged to meet my new caddies to find a curious duo. | ||
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From that day, I got better and better at getting a hole in one. | From that day, I got better and better at getting a hole in one. | ||
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<blockquote>At a secret hideout in an undisclosed location under a heavy veil of mystery and darkness... | <blockquote>At a secret hideout in an undisclosed location under a heavy veil of mystery and darkness... | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
[UK, Article is named 'Screwbot Secrets'] | [UK, Article is named 'Screwbot Secrets'] | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
See: "Hey, Saw." | See: "Hey, Saw." | ||
Saw: "What's up, See?" | Saw: "What's up, See?" | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote>"So, Mr Saw..." | <blockquote>"So, Mr Saw..." | ||
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"Now you're talking! I'll never get tired of this job!" | "Now you're talking! I'll never get tired of this job!" | ||
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[US] | [US] | ||
<blockquote>I've always wanted to learn the guitar but never had the nerve to try. When I finally did get up the courage, I found that SHE worked at the local music shop. She told me I had nothing to be afraid of, that playing guitar was simple. Easy for her to say-- everyone knows her band is big in Japan. I didn't have enough money to buy one that day, but she let me try out a guitar and showed me some chords. I came back a lot over the next six months while I saved up my allowance. Now I've bought my guitar, I've started a band, and I'm practicing a lot. I even wrote a song for her. Only problem is I can't bring myself to play it for her. So instead, I'll invite her to our first live show. After school, we sat on a bench together while I tried to work up the courage to give her the ticket I got her. My throat was parched, and my mind was racing. For some reason, some weasels were looking at us... And then a strange thing happened. A soccer ball came at us, and I reflexively gave it a good kick. It felt great! It calmed me down too. Even the weasels seemed happy. So I started kicking away my feelings... | <blockquote>I've always wanted to learn the guitar but never had the nerve to try. When I finally did get up the courage, I found that SHE worked at the local music shop. She told me I had nothing to be afraid of, that playing guitar was simple. Easy for her to say-- everyone knows her band is big in Japan. I didn't have enough money to buy one that day, but she let me try out a guitar and showed me some chords. I came back a lot over the next six months while I saved up my allowance. Now I've bought my guitar, I've started a band, and I'm practicing a lot. I even wrote a song for her. Only problem is I can't bring myself to play it for her. So instead, I'll invite her to our first live show. After school, we sat on a bench together while I tried to work up the courage to give her the ticket I got her. My throat was parched, and my mind was racing. For some reason, some weasels were looking at us... And then a strange thing happened. A soccer ball came at us, and I reflexively gave it a good kick. It felt great! It calmed me down too. Even the weasels seemed happy. So I started kicking away my feelings...</blockquote> | ||
</blockquote> | |||
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[US] | [US] | ||
<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
*cough* (Excuse me.) First of all, let me welcome and congratulate all of our... *ah-CHOO* new employees. Next, I need to tell you the most important thing you can know about working at our company: Wherever you are, whatever you do here, from the assembly line to Accounts Payable, remember to mind the flow. For proof, consider our executives seated there. They all came from humble origins but rose to the top because they embrace flow. If you want to climb the ladder here, you've gotta develop your flow! All right, everyone. Stand up and repeat after me: One! Start the spin smoothly and flow to a halt. Two! At lunchtime, season freely with flowing pepper and salt. *Ahhh-CHOOOOO!* (Excuse me.) | *cough* (Excuse me.) First of all, let me welcome and congratulate all of our... *ah-CHOO* new employees. Next, I need to tell you the most important thing you can know about working at our company: Wherever you are, whatever you do here, from the assembly line to Accounts Payable, remember to mind the flow. For proof, consider our executives seated there. They all came from humble origins but rose to the top because they embrace flow. If you want to climb the ladder here, you've gotta develop your flow! All right, everyone. Stand up and repeat after me: One! Start the spin smoothly and flow to a halt. Two! At lunchtime, season freely with flowing pepper and salt. *Ahhh-CHOOOOO!* (Excuse me.) | ||
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</blockquote> | |||
[UK, article is named 'An Upbeat Business Strategy'] | [UK, article is named 'An Upbeat Business Strategy'] | ||
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<blockquote>Are you always late? Do you struggle to know what time it is? Are your wrists drab and boring? | <blockquote>Are you always late? Do you struggle to know what time it is? Are your wrists drab and boring? | ||
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Probably... | Probably... | ||
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<blockquote>On the work floor... | <blockquote>On the work floor... | ||
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Rookie: "Ugh. I worked so hard today. I won't be able to rise in the morning..." | Rookie: "Ugh. I worked so hard today. I won't be able to rise in the morning..." | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote>On the work floor... | <blockquote>On the work floor... | ||
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"I worked so hard today, I won't be able to rise in the morning." | "I worked so hard today, I won't be able to rise in the morning." | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Slogan for April | Slogan for April | ||
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Production line, keep in time: Remember to take it <span style="color:red;">easy</span>. | Production line, keep in time: Remember to take it <span style="color:red;">easy</span>. | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
April's Motto | April's Motto | ||
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The production line has a clear rhythm, just do your <span style="color:red;">best</span> and don't give in! | The production line has a clear rhythm, just do your <span style="color:red;">best</span> and don't give in! | ||
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<blockquote>High above the Rhythm Islands... | <blockquote>High above the Rhythm Islands... | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
[UK, article is named 'Quick and Slow'] | [UK, article is named 'Quick and Slow'] | ||
<blockquote>High above the Rhythm Islands, a blue and red plane could be seen flying in tight formation. | <blockquote>High above the Rhythm Islands, a blue and red plane could be seen flying in tight formation. | ||
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The two planes banked across each other's paths forming a perfect doughnut-shaped vapour trail in the sky as they headed off for a well-deserved snack. | The two planes banked across each other's paths forming a perfect doughnut-shaped vapour trail in the sky as they headed off for a well-deserved snack. | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Son: "Mom! Buy this new Figure Fighter muscle doll for me! Pleeeease?!" | Son: "Mom! Buy this new Figure Fighter muscle doll for me! Pleeeease?!" | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
"Mum! Buy this Figure Fighter for me! Pleeeease!" | "Mum! Buy this Figure Fighter for me! Pleeeease!" | ||
"I'm not buying that for you! Something that cheap will easily get broken!" | "I'm not buying that for you! Something that cheap will easily get broken!" | ||
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"Sigh..." | "Sigh..." | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Wrestling 20XX | Wrestling 20XX | ||
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Reporter: Aaaaand that's all from us! Be sure to join us ringside for another exclusive interview! | Reporter: Aaaaand that's all from us! Be sure to join us ringside for another exclusive interview! | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
"Nobody beats the champ!" | "Nobody beats the champ!" | ||
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"That's all from us. Be sure to join us ringside for another world exclusive interview!" | "That's all from us. Be sure to join us ringside for another world exclusive interview!" | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Day 1: | Day 1: | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Entry 1: | Entry 1: | ||
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The bacteria still appear to lack their initial vitality. The team and I are exhausted from failing to improve their condition. We must do something! Perhaps some music would help liven our mood. I'm sure one of the students left a CD somewhere... As soon as I put the CD on, the bacteria lost their drab appearance. They began to move in time and glowed colourfully again! I'm not sure how, but they feed on the music (I may call the process "Rhythmesis"). However, the music's effect is undeniable. They bacteria have begun moving in a nimble jerking motion. I wonder where they could be headed? I must study them further to understand more about this truly mysterious organism. We still have a lot of learn from them. We should all learn to live with a spring in our step too! | The bacteria still appear to lack their initial vitality. The team and I are exhausted from failing to improve their condition. We must do something! Perhaps some music would help liven our mood. I'm sure one of the students left a CD somewhere... As soon as I put the CD on, the bacteria lost their drab appearance. They began to move in time and glowed colourfully again! I'm not sure how, but they feed on the music (I may call the process "Rhythmesis"). However, the music's effect is undeniable. They bacteria have begun moving in a nimble jerking motion. I wonder where they could be headed? I must study them further to understand more about this truly mysterious organism. We still have a lot of learn from them. We should all learn to live with a spring in our step too! | ||
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<blockquote>I am called the Wandering Samurai, due to my devotion to the samurai code of Bushido and my generally poor sense of direction. | <blockquote>I am called the Wandering Samurai, due to my devotion to the samurai code of Bushido and my generally poor sense of direction. | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
The lone samurai continues his endless journey onwards. Eventually the samurai came across a temple and decided to take shelter from the heat of the morning sun. His eyelids began to feel heavy and it did not take long before he fell fast asleep under a large tree. As he lay snoring in the shade, a counting song from his childhood came back to him... | The lone samurai continues his endless journey onwards. Eventually the samurai came across a temple and decided to take shelter from the heat of the morning sun. His eyelids began to feel heavy and it did not take long before he fell fast asleep under a large tree. As he lay snoring in the shade, a counting song from his childhood came back to him... | ||
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To be continued... | To be continued... | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr presents: Fishing Tips with Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr | Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr presents: Fishing Tips with Master Fisherperson Ann Glerr | ||
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I hope these tips will help you land a big one next time you're out! Ann Glerr signing off! | I hope these tips will help you land a big one next time you're out! Ann Glerr signing off! | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Expert's Corner | Expert's Corner | ||
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Ann Glerr | Ann Glerr | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
April 16 | April 16 | ||
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I...I believe in our captain. | I...I believe in our captain. | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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I hope he means it this time... | I hope he means it this time... | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Ah, here we see a typical morning commute for these colorful creatures. Note that, even in a dense crowd, they move in perfect harmony. Er...mostly. Excuse me! Please don't push! Someone could get hurt! Excuse me! | Ah, here we see a typical morning commute for these colorful creatures. Note that, even in a dense crowd, they move in perfect harmony. Er...mostly. Excuse me! Please don't push! Someone could get hurt! Excuse me! | ||
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I don't understand! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! Ahem. let's continue our tour, shall we? As I was saying, the Huebirds are lovely creatures with their own ideas about order. Next, we'll be examining an altogether different species, the Eloquent Tapir, who I'm sure you all will enjoy conversing with. | I don't understand! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! Ahem. let's continue our tour, shall we? As I was saying, the Huebirds are lovely creatures with their own ideas about order. Next, we'll be examining an altogether different species, the Eloquent Tapir, who I'm sure you all will enjoy conversing with. | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
The prettiest of all space birds has to be the Huebird. Let's see how they start their day. Rush hour starts early on the colourful planet. But even in large groups, they move in harmony...most of the time. | The prettiest of all space birds has to be the Huebird. Let's see how they start their day. Rush hour starts early on the colourful planet. But even in large groups, they move in harmony...most of the time. | ||
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Enjoy your bird watching! | Enjoy your bird watching! | ||
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<blockquote>Hello, and thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! These are sure to make your next outer-space voyage fun and memorable! We have four models this year, and I'll be happy to explain the differences. | <blockquote>Hello, and thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! These are sure to make your next outer-space voyage fun and memorable! We have four models this year, and I'll be happy to explain the differences. | ||
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Whichever Rhythm Rocket you choose, you're certain to have an exciting and fun outer-space expedition! | Whichever Rhythm Rocket you choose, you're certain to have an exciting and fun outer-space expedition! | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote>Hello! Thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! We currently have four rocket models in production. Let me explain to you the differences between them. | <blockquote>Hello! Thank you for your interest in Rhythm Rockets! We currently have four rocket models in production. Let me explain to you the differences between them. | ||
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I think you'll find we have a mini-rocket for every occasion and one that can compliment your lives. So, please order one now before they sell out! | I think you'll find we have a mini-rocket for every occasion and one that can compliment your lives. So, please order one now before they sell out! | ||
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[US] | [US] | ||
<blockquote>Promoting their eagerly anticipated new single "Love Rap,"[sic] the Love Posse (featuring MC Adore) is coming to a town near you! Opening for the Posse will be those twin quasars of hip-hop, the RAPMEN. Check online for dates and venues. Advance tickets are $60, and each comes with an MC Adore sticker. Tickets at the door are also $60 but do NOT come with a sticker. Plan ahead! Don't miss it! | <blockquote>Promoting their eagerly anticipated new single "Love Rap,"[sic] the Love Posse (featuring MC Adore) is coming to a town near you! Opening for the Posse will be those twin quasars of hip-hop, the RAPMEN. Check online for dates and venues. Advance tickets are $60, and each comes with an MC Adore sticker. Tickets at the door are also $60 but do NOT come with a sticker. Plan ahead! Don't miss it!</blockquote> | ||
</blockquote> | |||
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<blockquote>In anticipation of The Love Posse feat. MC Adore's new single "Love Rap", the band will be performing an exclusive live set for a limited number of fans. Of course, you can expect everyone's favourite rapping duo "The Love Posse" to be providing the backing too! | <blockquote>In anticipation of The Love Posse feat. MC Adore's new single "Love Rap", the band will be performing an exclusive live set for a limited number of fans. Of course, you can expect everyone's favourite rapping duo "The Love Posse" to be providing the backing too! | ||
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Tickets are on sale now so don't miss out! | Tickets are on sale now so don't miss out! | ||
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<blockquote>"I want to be a star!" That was what I thought every minute of every day after I moved to this town. Then I saw the most important flyer on the most important café bulletin board of my life. | <blockquote>"I want to be a star!" That was what I thought every minute of every day after I moved to this town. Then I saw the most important flyer on the most important café bulletin board of my life. | ||
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And that's how I began my climb to tap stardom... | And that's how I began my climb to tap stardom... | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote>I had always wanted to become famous and came to this town to try and achieve my dreams! When I saw an audition poster in a cafe, I knew the chance had finally arrived. | <blockquote>I had always wanted to become famous and came to this town to try and achieve my dreams! When I saw an audition poster in a cafe, I knew the chance had finally arrived. | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
*Energy is key! | *Energy is key! | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Rule 1: Always remember your manners! | Rule 1: Always remember your manners! | ||
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Rule 8: Always repeat cheers with lots and lots of energy! | Rule 8: Always repeat cheers with lots and lots of energy! | ||
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<blockquote>"I dunno. It's like everyone just decides what it means and passes their judgment and expects me to behave in a certain way. I mean, first of all, it's my name, like my actual, this-is-what-my-birth-certificate-says NAME. It doesn't reflect me as a person. And hey, words can mean more than one thing, you know? Just because the first thing YOU think of is some happy-go-lucky sap doesn't mean...Ugh. I know, I come in here every week and the spend whole session griping about this. You're probably tired of hearing about it by now. Do you ever have problems like this? Do people just look at you and assume that you're into, I dunno, copying what people do?" | <blockquote>"I dunno. It's like everyone just decides what it means and passes their judgment and expects me to behave in a certain way. I mean, first of all, it's my name, like my actual, this-is-what-my-birth-certificate-says NAME. It doesn't reflect me as a person. And hey, words can mean more than one thing, you know? Just because the first thing YOU think of is some happy-go-lucky sap doesn't mean...Ugh. I know, I come in here every week and the spend whole session griping about this. You're probably tired of hearing about it by now. Do you ever have problems like this? Do people just look at you and assume that you're into, I dunno, copying what people do?" | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
[UK] The UK version is exactly the same, apart from the Monkey's speech being "Oooky oook-ook!" instead, and the British English spelling of 'Mr Upbeat'. | [UK] The UK version is exactly the same, apart from the Monkey's speech being "Oooky oook-ook!" instead, and the British English spelling of 'Mr Upbeat'. | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
xx/xx/20xx | xx/xx/20xx | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Police Report: | Police Report: | ||
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We received a tip off from an unidentified man who is apparently working at the widget factory. It said "from July to November". There's definitely something suspicious about those "Quality Construction Catchwords". We should investigate further. | We received a tip off from an unidentified man who is apparently working at the widget factory. It said "from July to November". There's definitely something suspicious about those "Quality Construction Catchwords". We should investigate further. | ||
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[US] | [US] | ||
<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">Hey, you there! Yes, you! In front of the TV! Congratulations on getting a Perfect on Remix 10! Nicely done! Oh, and thanks for much for just playing this far into the game! It’s always gratifying when someone goes to the trouble, you know? We’ve been watching you doing your best, playing real hard. It’s inspiring. Did you have fun? Was it hard to get here? Maybe you have friends who say it was easy. Hmph. Whatever. But let’s talk about you some more! You probably found your sense of rhythm improving, huh? …Right? If you haven’t already done so, you should totally have your friends try out this game. You know there’s a two-player mode, right? All right, let’s say it was your destiny to battle and evil wrestler army, and only you could do it. You might be sad that you had such a rough destiny ahead of you. But what if, by battling the evil wrestler army, you could make a lot of people smile? Then you might think, “That’s a pretty good destiny.” That’s all we wanted to say. Hopefully we’ll see you out there again sometime. Enjoy your evening. -- This message brought to you by the mysterious Rhythm League.</span></p> | <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">Hey, you there! Yes, you! In front of the TV! Congratulations on getting a Perfect on Remix 10! Nicely done! Oh, and thanks for much for just playing this far into the game! It’s always gratifying when someone goes to the trouble, you know? We’ve been watching you doing your best, playing real hard. It’s inspiring. Did you have fun? Was it hard to get here? Maybe you have friends who say it was easy. Hmph. Whatever. But let’s talk about you some more! You probably found your sense of rhythm improving, huh? …Right? If you haven’t already done so, you should totally have your friends try out this game. You know there’s a two-player mode, right? All right, let’s say it was your destiny to battle and evil wrestler army, and only you could do it. You might be sad that you had such a rough destiny ahead of you. But what if, by battling the evil wrestler army, you could make a lot of people smile? Then you might think, “That’s a pretty good destiny.” That’s all we wanted to say. Hopefully we’ll see you out there again sometime. Enjoy your evening. -- This message brought to you by the mysterious Rhythm League.</span></p> | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">[UK] </span></p> | <p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="mso-ansi-language:EN-GB">[UK] </span></p> | ||
<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
<p class="MsoNormal">Congratulations!</p> | <p class="MsoNormal">Congratulations!</p> | ||
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<p class="MsoNormal">The Wrestler's Rhythm League Fan Club Rep.</p> | <p class="MsoNormal">The Wrestler's Rhythm League Fan Club Rep.</p> | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
[[Category:Café]] | [[Category:Café]] |
edits